The Queen's Proclamation




December 2009
News, updates, & pronouncements from Pat Ballard,
the Queen of Rubenesque Romances

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. 
Eleanor Roosevelt

Something to think about....

The Wolf You Feed
An elder Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them,

"A fight is going on inside me. It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.
One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance,
self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

"The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

"This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too," he added.

The grandchildren thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied..."The one you feed."

An old Native American proverb

A few weeks ago as Peggy and I did the Health At Every Size radio show, we discussed body hatred, body love, forgiving our bodies for not being what we want, etc., and I made the statement that "the emotion you feed is the one that will grow."

I'm not sure if I formulated my conviction on this subject from the old proverb above, which I saw in an email a few years ago, or from some other source. I'd love to believe it's my own original thought, but are there really any original thoughts? But do I know it is a fact that the emotions we feed are the ones that grow.

So what emotion are you feeding?

Are you one of those people who has trained your brain to go immediately to the negative side of any subject that comes up? I'm going to use my husband as an example of this. I'm not talking behind his back. He'll be the first to agree with me.

We're all familiar with the "is the glass half full or half empty" analogy of a positive person or a negative person. Well, Joe's glass is normally not just half empty, but three-fourths empty. In fact, on a really good day, he'll say, "I'm almost happy." But he'll never commit to being totally happy.

Sometimes when I bring up a new idea or some thought that I think is good, he'll reply with, "Well, the trouble with that is—" I've brought this to his attention so much that it's become a joke with us.

I've watched him and others frantically search for the negative side of a subject if it's just a little too positive for them. They're feeding the negative emotions.

Or are you one of those people who go directly to the positive side of just about any subject? Is your glass almost always half full? I'll use myself as an example of this.
Just as a clue, I've been recently dubbed "Pollyanna" and accused of keeping my Pollyanna head in a certain orifice of my body. Actually I gave myself the name, but many of my family members jumped on it just a little too quickly.

I will frantically search for the positive aspect of any subject. I literally hate a doomsday, the-sky-is-falling, nothing-is-going-to-work-out-okay attitude. So I feed the positive emotion.

And, yes, I realize that this can be done to the point of losing touch with reality—but I sure am happy here in my world!

My point is that our brains will respond to how we train them to think. Whatever emotion we feed our subconscious, it will feed that emotion back to us.

Of course there are health problems that can cause some of us to have bouts with depression, or life situations that are really hard to deal with, so I would never try to tell someone to "just think your way out of your situation" if you do need help.

But if you're a healthy individual who is feeding the negative emotion, why not try feeding the positive one and see how much better you feel?

Instead of complaining about the clouds, remind yourself that the sun is shining right above those clouds.

Instead of telling yourself that "this is going to be a bad day," try telling yourself that "something good can happen today."

Instead of looking in the mirror and pointing out all the parts of your body that you don't like, find some of the things you do like and concentrate on them.

Feed those upbeat, feel-good, positive emotions.
Hi everyone!

Well, here I am, again running late with the newsletter. I hope everyone had a wonderful November.

Husband Joe and I went to Mississippi for Thanksgiving and had a really good trip and wonderful visit with family. But I seemed to have brought back a vicious bug from the Magnolia State. It's a head and throat invasion!

On November 20th Joe had a lithotripsy procedure (laser blasting) done on his right kidney. He had a 12mm stone. He had to have a stent put in from his kidney to his bladder to keep any of the small stones from blocking his pipes—or, as the doctor put it, causing a log jam. Anyway, he went back last Tuesday to the doctor to make arrangements to take out the stent. The doctor X-rayed to make sure the stones were gone—and all they had done was break the 12mm stone into two pieces. Now he had a 7mm and a 4mm stone. So this past Friday he had to go back and have the procedure done again.

He had bladder spasms the first time and was in a lot of pain for a few hours, but the second lithotripsy went much, much better. I guess we'll find out next week if the stones are broken up or if he has to go back again. But for now he's feeling okay and going back to work Monday.
All this new technology is just amazing to me. I wonder if in a few years all surgery will be done by laser and no knives will be needed. I'm real okay with that!

If you didn't see it before, I'm offering my latest book as a free download. If you enjoy it, pass the word around:

Something To Think About: Reflections on Life, Family, Body Image & Other Weighty Matters by the Queen of Rubenesque Romances

Download it at

Everyone have a wonderful December. Be safe through the Holiday Season.



Visit Pat's Place at | Write me at

Click on the Bookbuzzr graphic (if visible on your computer screen) to browse an excerpt from Pat's newest book,
10 Steps to Loving Your Body
(No Matter What Size You Are)

As a young woman Pat Ballard almost died trying to starve her body into a societally approved size. In 10 Steps to Loving Your Body (No Matter What Size You Are) she shares the steps she created―and took―to heal the damage of years of dieting. Join her in celebrating size diversity, self esteem, positive body image, and health at every size.

Your body is a unique work of art.
There never has been, nor will there ever be,
another body just like yours.
Learn to love it and it will love you back.

More info at the Pearlsong Press website. (All copies of 10 Steps purchased from the Pearlsong Press website are autographed by Pat.)

You can also browse and share excerpts from 10 Steps to Loving Your Body, Something to Think About and Pat's other books online at


Links About The Queen & Her Books

Pat's Place website
The Queen's Blog
About Pat Ballard
Dangerous Curves Ahead
The Best Man
Abigail's Revenge
Wanted: One Groom
Nobody's Perfect
His Brother's Child
A Worthy Heir
Pearlsong Press blog posts about Pat

Weighty Matters

Eating Disorder Organizations Join Forces To Urge Focus On Health And Lifestyle Rather Than Weight

In an unprecedented show of concern, The Academy for Eating Disorders (AED), Binge Eating Disorder Association (BEDA), Eating Disorders Coalition (EDC), International Association for Eating Disorders Professionals (IADEP), and National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) have joined forces and are urging focus on health and lifestyle rather than weight as a measurement of well-being.

In late November, media stories reported that an American university implemented a new strategy for combating rising weights by requiring students to be weighed during their freshman year. Those with a Body Mass Index (BMI) of 30 or over are required either to lose weight or pass an extra course focused on physical fitness. In response to this, and other similar strategies within the global "war against obesity," national and international eating disorder organizations have joined forces to urge school administrators, employers, and health policy makers to focus more on health and lifestyle for all populations rather than on weight alone.

Eating disorder groups assert that this well-intended, but under-informed and unproven strategy of focusing on BMI fuels weight-prejudice and neglects groups which may be in equal need of improving their health and lifestyle. There is concern that, in some cases, the programs contribute to negative self-esteem, body dissatisfaction and eating disordered behaviors among young people. Neither the scale nor BMI calculation provide the full picture most relevant to health status, such as lifestyle and activity patterns, and physical and mental health measures. Thus, assuming ill health based on weight alone is not only inappropriate but harmful and discriminatory, and should be discontinued.

Read the rest of the article here:

Reader Review of the Month

Editor's Note: We're now featuring reader reviews of Pat's books in
The Queen's Proclamation. Post a review at an online bookstore, magazine, or public website and email us at proclamation @ to let us know, and we'll consider yours for inclusion in The QP

The following review of 10 Steps to Loving Your Body (No Matter What Size You Are)was posted on the website by Susan Schulherrauthor of  Eating Disorders for Dummies. 

"If you're a woman, odds are you're not happy with your body. You probably can't remember when you weren't at war with your belly or your thighs. (Men are beginning to catch up with their own versions of body discontent.) Western culture provides you with a steady stream of images and advice about an often unattainable "right" way to look, feeding your feelings that you just aren't acceptable as you are. 

"Enter Pat Ballard with
10 Steps to Loving Your Body (No Matter What Size You Are) to supply a badly-needed alternative voice! Ballard's easy-to-read, easy-to-use volume is like having your own personal coach and cheerleader for ending the warfare and making peace with the body you have. She's out in front to show you the way, behind you to nudge you forward, and beside you offering support and encouragement for every step (all 10!) of your journey. She accomplishes this with guidelines ("...our bodies know what they want to look like"), worksheets to practice new ways of thinking and behaving ("...look for 10 good things about [your] body and try to develop them"), and the greatest collection of inspirational quotes for body-love and general self-respect you're likely to find anywhere (for example, from Gloria Steinem, 'Each individual woman's body demands to be accepted on it's own terms.' Or, from an unknown author, 'It's not who you are that holds you back; it's who you think you're not.') 

"10 Steps is your body's best friend in pocket form. I'm delighted to have it on hand to recommend—personally and professionally—to anyone struggling with body image and the inkling that it's better to embrace than fight the one-and-only body you have."


Browse and share excerpts from Pat Ballard's books online.

Listen to the mp3 recording of Pat, her fearless publisher, and several other Pearlsong Press authors in a Pearlsong Conversation about creating fat friendly fiction and fat positive characters.

Listen to Pat on the June 1, 2009 Health At Every Size radio show
on Radio Free Nashville.

Listen to a Feb. 11, 2009 Conversation with Pat Ballard
(blog post with link to 50-min mp3 recording of Pat talking about her journey to
self- and body-acceptance and -love, her writing process,
and why a truly Valentine's Day and satisfying sex life starts with loving your body,
no matter what it looks like.

Read an interview with Pat at The F-word (Food. Fat. Feminism.) blog.

Communicate with Pat via her "Amazon Connect" blog on!

Pat's romantic suspense novel Abigail's Revenge is featured on the Beautiful Portal website:
and has been reviewed by AmaZe eMag:

 An article on Pat has been posted at:
And an EP Extra review of Abigail's Revenge is posted at 

Look for an interview with Pat on Lonnie Cruse's blog at

Calendar of Events

Now available from Pearlsong PressPat's newest book, the nonfiction Something to Think About: Reflections on Life, Family, Body Image, & Other Weighty Matters by the Queen of Rubenesque Romances. It's a FREE PDF ebook that can be downloaded at or via the link at the beginning of this newsletter.

Pat is now co-hosting Radio Free Nashville's Health At Every Size show, which airs every Monday morning. The show is streamed live over the Internet 10-11 a.m. CST Mondays. You can also subscribe to the podcast of the show (automatically receive the mp3 recordings of the weekly shows on your computer, iPod or mp3 player) via iTunes. Click on the "subscribe in a reader" button/link in the upper lefthand column, and select "Add to iTunes" or the podcatcher of your choice.

Listen to the live broadcasts over the Internet at You can also listen to the live broadcasts through your telephone via UPSNAP.COM.  See the Health At Every Size show website or the Radio Free Nashville website for details. Davidson County, Tennessee residents can also hear the show live through the Secondary Audio Programming of Comcast cable's Channel 10.

For more on the show, check out the show blog at You can also listen to or download recordings of many of the shows at

Give someone a good read as well as support in loving themselves.
Pat's books make great gifts!


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