News, updates, &
pronouncements from Pat Ballard,
the Queen of Rubenesque Romances
Nobody can make you feel inferior
without your consent.
Something to think
May 10th is Mother's Day.
Recently, while going through some old files, I ran across the
piece below that I had written in 2002 just before my son, Eric,
married Tiffany and I gained the daughter I never had. The piece
is a compilation of thoughts and feelings I was having, but I've
also heard other mothers talk about the same thoughts and
And even though these thoughts and feelings are real at the
time, eventually, as we see how happy our child is with his or
her new mate and those wonderful grandchildren come along, we
forget those "growing pains" we were having and learn to be
totally happy in our own new lives.
Happy Mother's Day, everyone!
A Motherís Right
In 1975 I gave birth to my son, Eric, my
first and my only child. That day was the first day of a new education for
me. An education that made me realize I had a right to act in a way that
would appear "abnormal" to a lot of people, and that appearing abnormal
didn't even matter anymore.
Itís a motherís right to be concerned, the entire time she carries her
baby inside her, that the baby will be okay. That it will be healthy and
Itís a motherís right to become worried because her newborn infant has
slept too long, or hasnít moved often enough while it sleeps, and to stand
beside its bed and watch to make sure her baby is still breathing. And
itís even her right to hold her finger under the babyís nose to see if she
can feel breath coming out.
Itís a motherís right to become obsessive and to even panic a little every
time her small child sneezes or coughs or gets that glassy-eyed feverish
look. And itís her right, when her child really is sick, to sit beside
that childís bed all night, making sure that its temperature doesnít
skyrocket during the night without her knowing it. Or to take the child
into bed with her so she can watch and listen for any warning sound that
something isnít quite right.
Itís a motherís right to stand up to a total stranger and "get in his
face" because he has said something to her child that she doesnít approve
of. Itís her right to watch any adult that she doesnít know or trust, to
make sure that adult treats her child properly.
Itís a motherís right to be a constant visitor to schools to be supportive
of her child. And itís her right to visit the child's school and take on
the principal and/or a teacher when she feels her child has been
Itís a motherís right to be proud of her childís success when he finishes
high school and college. Itís her right to talk to everyone and anyone―who
will listen―about her childís accomplishments. Itís her right to bore
people almost to death talking about her dreams for her child, and how her
child is accomplishing those dreams.
Itís a motherís right to be crushed when she finds out that her child is
leaving home for the last time. Itís her right to dissolve into tears
every time she remembers that in just a few weeks her child will not be
coming home every night for dinner, or at least to sleep in his own bed.
Itís her right to occasionally pass by his closed bedroom door at night
and stop for just a moment and listen to him sleep peacefully, knowing
that in just a few weeks that room will be as empty and silent as her
Itís a motherís right to feel abandoned when her son finds ďthat other
womanĒ and gives his heart to her. Itís her right to wonder if things will
ever be the same between her and her son again. And itís her right to
know, and be devastated in the knowing, that it probably wonít.
My son recently became engaged. Heís totally happy, and his fiancťe is a
wonderful woman. Yet on a daily basis Iím bombarded with unfounded fears
that Iím ďlosing him forever.Ē I burst into tears when I realize that in a
few weeks heíll be gone, that I wonít be able to see him each day. Each
time I hear his car approaching I remind myself that it wonít be long
until I wonít hear that comforting sound, that heís home and safe for one
A thousand times Iíve asked myself, ďWhat right do I have to be so
miserable when he is so happy? What right do I have to be jealous of
another womanís time with him? What right do I have to miss him even
before heís gone? What right do I have to want to clutch him to me forever
and protect him, just like I did when he was a newborn infant?Ē
Then I remind myself, itís a motherís right.
Word From Pat
I hope everyone has had a good March.
I'm happy to report that my family and I are finally getting over this flu
crud that we've had for almost the entire month.
My husband, Joe, decided to high-dive off the trailer of his semi truck
this past Monday. He landed on gravel, so he had a good many dints and
pings on his body. A small place on his forehead had to be "superglued"
where he hit a rock, the bursa sac on his left hip got bruised really
badly and he's hopping around on that leg, plus he has other bruises and
sore spots. But he's back at work, so he's feeling better. I'm very
thankful that he didn't have any broken bones.
We have hyacinths, daffodils, verbena, pansies and phlox beginning to
bloom. Spring is really beginning to show up in Nashville!
I'm busy working on chapter 4 of my next novel. Just as a teaser I'll tell
you that the heroine rides a motorcycle.
Everyone have a wonderful April.
Visit Pat's Place at
www.patballard.com | Write me at
from Pearlsong Press:
Pat's first nonfiction book,
10 Steps to Loving Your
(No Matter What Size You Are)
As a young woman Pat Ballard almost died trying to starve her body into a
societally approved size. In 10 Steps to Loving Your Body (No Matter
What Size You Are) she shares the steps she created―and took―to
heal the damage of years of dieting. Join her in celebrating size
diversity, self esteem, positive body image, and health at every size.
Your body is a unique work of art.
There never has been, nor will there ever be,
another body just like yours.
Learn to love it and it will love you back.
More info at the
Pearlsong Press website.
(All copies of 10 Steps
purchased from the Pearlsong Press website are autographed by Pat.)
Most folks don't think that larger people can move very well. Those of us
who are larger know better! Just for fun and proof, enjoy these
Eric and Katie's
Ultimate Wedding Dance
Tina (her dancer name is Shoshanna)
Eve's Blues and Bellydance Solo
Reader Review of the
We're now featuring reader reviews of Pat's books in
The Queen's Proclamation.
Post a review at an online bookstore, magazine, or public website and
email us at proclamation @ pearlsong.com to let us know, and we'll
consider yours for inclusion in The QP.
The following review of
10 Steps to Loving Your Body (No Matter What Size You Are)
was posted on the Amazon.com website by Elizabeth Patch,
author of More To Love.
Pat Ballard's book is
short, sweet and to the point: 10 wonderful, easy steps that help remind
you to accept, love, and cherish your body today, as it is. Filled with
inspiring quotes and Pat's own writing, this is the perfect book to keep
on your desk, by your nightstand, or in your purse. Open it to any page
whenever you need a positive reminder of your unique beauty and worth.
a Feb. 11, 2009 Conversation with Pat Ballard
(blog post with link to 50-min mp3 recording of Pat talking about her
self- and body-acceptance and -love, her writing process,
and why a truly Valentine's Day and satisfying sex life starts with loving
no matter what it looks like.
an interview with Pat at The F-word (Food. Fat. Feminism.)
Communicate with Pat
via her "Amazon Connect" blog on Amazon.com!
Pat's romantic suspense novel Abigail's Revenge is featured on the Beautiful
and has been reviewed by AmaZe eMag:
An article on Pat has been
And an EP Extra review of Abigail's Revenge is posted at
Look for an interview with Pat on Lonnie Cruse's blog at
Calendar of Events
New from Pearlsong PressóPat's
latest (and first nonfiction) book, 10 Steps to Loving Your Body (No
Matter What Size You Are).
See http://www.pearlsong.com/10steps.htm to order.
All copies purchased directly from the Pearlsong Press website will be
autographed by the author.
Hear Pat on
the air at Radio Free Nashville! Listen to or download the mp3
recording of Pat's June 23, 2008 guest appearance on the Health
At Every Size show with Dr. Peggy Elam on WRFN Radio Free Nashville
by going to
Pat regularly guests on Radio Free Nashville's
Health At Every Size
show, which airs every Monday morning.
She's usually in the studio on the fourth Monday of the month. The show is streamed live
over the Internet 10-11 a.m. CST Mondays. You can
also now subscribe to the podcast of the show (automatically receive the
mp3 recordings of the weekly shows on your computer, iPod or mp3 player)
via iTunes. Click on the "subscribe in a reader" button/link in the upper
lefthand column, and select "Add to iTunes" or the podcatcher of your
Listen to the live
broadcasts over the Internet at
http://www.radiofreenashville.org/. You can also listen to
the live broadcasts through your telephone via UPSNAP.COM. See the
Health At Every Size show website or the
Radio Free Nashville website
for details. Davidson County, Tennessee residents can also hear the show
live through the Secondary Audio Programming of Comcast cable's Channel
For more on the show, check out
the show blog at
http://www.healthateverysize.info. You can also listen to or download recordings of some of the shows,
including several with Pat, at
Give someone a good
read as well as support in loving themselves.
Pat's books make great gifts!
Read previous issues
of The Queen's Proclamation at
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