Nobody can make you feel inferior
without your consent.
Something to think about....
Perhaps the most important thing we can undertake toward the reduction of fear
is to make it easier for people to accept themselves, to like themselves.
Bonaro W. Overstreet
Several things within the past few days have had me thinking about the crippling aspect of fear.
Now I'm not talking about "healthy" fears. We should be afraid to do things that will hurt or kill us just from the act of doing them.
The fear I'm speaking of is more or less psychological fear. Fear of doing things in public because of what someone might say about us. Fear of speaking up on a subject that we really feel strongly about because we think someone might judge us for our beliefs. Fear of wearing an article of clothing because we think we might look silly in it.
These are, more or less, useless fears. Fears that we've learned.
Dorothy Thompson is quoted as saying, "Fear grows in darkness; if you think there's a bogeyman around, turn on the light."
When I was a child, I had two uncles who were more like older brothers than uncles because they were not that much older than I was. They lived with their parents, across the country road from my family. As the only small child in their lives, they loved to torment me. (For whatever reason, I still loved/love them with all my heart.)
They would tell me that if I was bad the "boogerman" (the Devil, in this case) would get me. For many years I lived in fear of the boogerman. Especially at night when the lights went out. I would wait for him to come and stick his pitchfork in my feet and take me away.
They would also tell me that a "booger" was going to get me. Kids refer to scary things as "monsters" nowadays. But in south Mississippi, "boogers" were about the scariest thing around when I was a child.
Then one night, as I had stared at an object in a far corner of the room that I was convinced was a person—the boogerman—I suddenly became angry. I got out of my bed and went to that object and touched it. It turned out to be a coat that was hanging on the back of a chair.
I learned a valuable lesson that night. Stop waiting until the boogerman comes for me. Go touch it. Or find it. And until this day if I hear any noise in my house at night, I refuse to lie in my bed and wait for it to come and "get" me. I'm out of that bed with a quickness and on my way to confront my "boogers."
I have carried this thought process into other areas of my life. If I get an opportunity to do something that seems "scary" or intimidating, I usually force myself to do it, just so I can grow from the experience of conquering yet another fear.
Eleanor Roosevelt writes, "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do."
So if some fear is keeping you from doing something that you really want to do, walk up to it and touch it. Face it. You'll be amazed at how quickly that fear dissipates into thin air once you've called its bluff.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.
It's a perfect fall day in Nashville, TN. The temperature is in the sixties and the leaves are fluttering from the trees like multicolored snowflakes.
Soon the backyard will be covered with leaves and my grandkids, Shaun and Kayla, and I will have our annual "leaf fight." There's just something about playing in the leaves that makes fall complete.
My husband, Joe, and I are a lot alike in many areas of life, but when it comes to the yard, we're total opposites. I love to leave the leaves on the ground and walk in them. He wants to rake or mow them as soon as they hit the ground. So we've compromised. He keeps the front yard as leaf-free as possible, but lets the backyard stack up with them until I have a chance to play with the kids. Then he rakes them and puts them in the compost bin.
He's also the "keep everything manicured, trimmed, and in total order" kind of yard keeper, and I'm the "English garden, wildflower, ivy on the trees" gardener. Again, we compromise. In fact, one of our neighbors said to Joe, "This place looks like the bayou." So I agreed to let Joe trim some things.
In case you didn't see the last issue of the newsletter, I'm offering my latest book as a free download. If you enjoy it, pass the word around.
Something To Think About: Reflections on Life, Family, Body Image & Other Weighty Matters by the Queen of Rubenesque Romances
Everyone have a wonderful November, and HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all the pilgrims in the U.S.!
Click on the Bookbuzzr graphic (if visible on your computer screen) to browse an excerpt from Pat's newest book,
Your body is a unique work of art.
Links About The Queen & Her Books
Peggy Elam introduced the album to me when we were doing our latest Health At Every Size radio show. The title is one of the things that inspired me to write about fear in the "Something To Think About" section of this newsletter.
The song "Hottie"
in this album is awesome. Please take the time to watch the video linked
to below and
listen to the lyrics of the song. The words are very meaningful, and I'm so
happy that people of all sizes, shapes and ages were used for the
Reader Review of the
share excerpts from Pat Ballard's books online.
Listen to Pat on the
June 1, 2009
Health At Every Size radio show
a Feb. 11, 2009 Conversation with Pat Ballard
Read an interview with Pat at The F-word (Food. Fat. Feminism.) blog.
Communicate with Pat
via her "Amazon Connect" blog on Amazon.com!
Pat's romantic suspense novel Abigail's Revenge is featured on the Beautiful
An article on Pat has been
Calendar of Events
Now available from Pearlsong Press—Pat's newest book, the nonfiction Something to Think About: Reflections on Life, Family, Body Image, & Other Weighty Matters by the Queen of Rubenesque Romances. It's a FREE PDF ebook that can be downloaded at http://www.pearlsong.com/somethingtothinkabout.htm or via the link at the beginning of this newsletter.
Pat is now co-hosting Radio Free Nashville's Health At Every Size show, which airs every Monday morning. The show is streamed live over the Internet 10-11 a.m. CST Mondays. You can also subscribe to the podcast of the show (automatically receive the mp3 recordings of the weekly shows on your computer, iPod or mp3 player) via iTunes. Click on the "subscribe in a reader" button/link in the upper lefthand column, and select "Add to iTunes" or the podcatcher of your choice.
Listen to the live
broadcasts over the Internet at
http://www.radiofreenashville.org/. You can also listen to
the live broadcasts through your telephone via UPSNAP.COM. See the
Health At Every Size show website or the
Radio Free Nashville website
for details. Davidson County, Tennessee residents can also hear the show
live through the Secondary Audio Programming of Comcast cable's Channel
Give someone a good
read as well as support in loving themselves.
Read previous issues
of The Queen's Proclamation at
Subscribe Me! Remove Me!
Did someone forward this newsletter to you, and you'd like to sign up to receive future issues yourself? Use the form below to subscribe.
Already a subscriber, but want to remove your email address from the Queen's mailing list? You can also use the form below to unsubscribe — just fill it in, select "Remove" from the drop-down menu, and click "Go!"
Queen's Proclamation is published by Pearlsong Press.