First, let me do a disclaimer. There are healthy fears,
unhealthy fears, and personal fears that keep us
from living our lives to the fullest.
Healthy fears are those that keep us alive. We should
be afraid of animals, bugs, places, people and things that can
harm us physically or actually kill us. For instance, we
wouldn't want to arm-wrestle a wild bear in the wilderness.
Unhealthy fears are fears that could cause us to make
unhealthy choices. For instance, I, Pat Ballard, freely admit
that I have an unhealthy fear of spiders. I don't think I have
arachnophobia, but I'm almost there. I can and have hurt myself
trying to escape a "harmless" spider. I don't care if they're
supposedly harmless or not. They're harmful to me if they get on
or near me because I have hurt myself trying to get away from
them. And I think I'd rather climb to the top of a tree and
watch an oncoming tornado before I'd crawl into a storm shelter
where I thought there might be a spider. Unhealthy fear.
Personal fears are those that keep us from living our
lives to the fullest. I think we all have one or more of these.
So stop for a moment and think about your own personal fear(s).
Then try to imagine how life would be if you didn't have those
A few examples of personal fears are:
You have a dream that you long to pursue, but you're afraid
you'll fail at it if you try.
You hate your job and want to try something different, but are
afraid you won't be able to do anything else.
You long to stay at home and "just" be a housewife or
househusband, but you're afraid your peers will think you're a
"loser" if you do that.
You are afraid of or worry about what someone will think of you
if you're fat. Or if you become fat.
You want to stop dieting, but are afraid you'll gain a lot of
weight and then "people" will think badly of you.
Okay, now that you've looked your fear in the face, try to
imagine that you don't have that fear. How do you feel? Wouldn't
it be wonderful to walk through life with the freedom of not
being burdened with those fears?
In this year of 2010, work on those fears. Look them directly
in the eyes and overpower them.
In The Eagles' song "Already Gone" there's a line that says: "So
often times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we
never even know we have the key."
We have the key, so let's open the door and chase those fears
out of our lives!
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!
I hope you all realized that you didn't receive the January
issue of The Queen's Proclamation. If not, then
I'm going to feel really "unmissed"!
Peggy Elam, founder and owner of Pearlsong Press — my publisher
and also the publisher of this newsletter — had emergency
surgery in late December and was on medical leave throughout
January and unable to do the newsletter. I'm happy to report
she's recovering beautifully.
I hope everyone had a wonderful December and January.
Joe, my husband, and I went to Texas for the Christmas holidays.
We saw members of his family and my two youngest brothers and
their wonderful families. I really enjoyed it.
December's newsletter I wrote about Joe's lithotripsy
procedures for kidney stones. In January he went back for
another X-ray on his kidney to see if all the pieces of the 12mm
stone were gone, and sure enough, there was a larger piece hung
in his ureter, trapping some smaller pieces behind it. So he was
scheduled to go back for his fourth lithotripsy. About a
week before he had to go back, however, he passed two fairly
large stones and the smaller ones followed. So he's finally
finished with that. But—he has a 5mm stone in his left kidney
that has to be tackled in six months. If anyone knows of a food
or drink that will shrink stones, let me know.
Three Sundays ago, during the weekend that we'd gotten 4 inches
of snow, our son, Eric, and his family came over to our house.
We went outside and played in the snow. They built a snowman
about 4 feet tall, and as of today "Fred" is still out there.
He's much, much smaller than he was originally, and I think his
head fell off today, but he's still "alive." That's how cold
it's been in Nashville for the past 3 weeks!
As a young woman Pat Ballard almost died trying to starve her body into a
societally approved size. In 10 Steps to Loving Your Body (No Matter
What Size You Are) she shares the steps she created―and took―to
heal the damage of years of dieting. Join her in celebrating size
diversity, self esteem, positive body image, and health at every size.
Your body is a unique work of art.
There never has been, nor will there ever be,
another body just like yours.
Learn to love it and it will love you back.
More info at the Pearlsong Press website.
(All copies of 10 Steps
purchased from the Pearlsong Press website are autographed by Pat.)
As we hear more and more about the "war on obesity," I decided to write a
Peace Treaty with My Body in the War on Obesity. Feel free to print it
out, pass it around, share it, sign it and pass the word. A PDF version of
the Peace Treaty can be downloaded at
Peace Treaty with My Body in
the War on Obesity
I acknowledge that I have been at war with my body for ___________
[amount of time]. I now deem my body to be in a free sovereign and
independent situation, and that I treat it as such, and that I will
relinquish all claims of territorial rights that would allow me to take
away the freedom for it to be the natural size it needs to be.
And that in all disputes which might arise in the future on the subject of
the boundaries of my body, it is hereby agreed and declared that the
following are and shall be its own boundaries.I shall always
provide proper food for my body and allow its boundaries to expand, shrink
or stay the size it presently is. I shall at no time try to exercise my
right to dispute these boundaries, for they are now the boundaries of my
body, and my body shall let me know when it has reached its programmed
It is agreed that my body shall continue to enjoy, without interference,
the right to take food of every kind at the time it deems that it is
hungry and so chooses to partake of whatever kind of food it longs for.
The choice of food will not be based on whether the foods are considered
“good” foods or “bad foods.” Nor will the amount of food taken in by my
body be based on what some chart says is enough or not enough. My body has
the freedom to choose and make that decision.
It is agreed that Naysayers on any side shall not be allowed to point
their fingers and judge my body in the event that my body starts to exceed
“recommended” and “accepted” boundaries. But above all it is agreed that I
shall not be allowed to take part in such degrading activities.
It is agreed that I shall henceforth listen to my body when it tries to
tell me something. I shall make it a point to listen when it says it needs
a certain food, or when it doesn’t need or want a particular food, or when
it needs rest, or when something more serious is wrong. And no other
person will be allowed to cause me to take a stand against what my body is
It is agreed that there shall be no future conflicts, nor any action taken
against my body by way of furthering this War of Obesity against it. Nor
will it suffer any future loss or damage, either in part or in whole, and
shall be immediately set at liberty, and the previous persecutions shall
be without delay discontinued.
Starting today, there shall be a firm and perpetual peace between my body
and me. No person, group or establishment shall interfere with said peace.
No doubt shall be allowed to rear its ugly head as to the validity of this
peace treaty. And wherefore all hostilities from me toward my body shall
cease and desist as of this day
The choice of the size of my body shall forever remain free and open to be
decided by my body’s genetic makeup, physical setpoint and any extenuating
circumstances that might arise.
In case it should so happen that I might lose my way and revert to my past
monitoring of my body on how much and what foods it can have, or in some
way start to criticize my body for how it looks, I shall promptly be
reminded of this peace treaty and be swiftly rebuked, and it is agreed
that the treaty shall be restored without delay.
The solemn endorsement of this peace treaty, expedited in good and due
form, shall be exchanged between my body and me and shall be in effect
from the day of the signature of this peace treaty until the day that my
body and I shall part ways.
I, __________________________, will do my utmost to follow these Articles
every day and live in peace with the body that I have been allowed to walk
through this earth in. For it is the vehicle that carries me through life.
Reader Review of the
We're now featuring reader reviews of Pat's books in
The Queen's Proclamation.
Post a review at an online bookstore, magazine, or public website and
email us at proclamation @ pearlsong.com to let us know, and we'll
consider yours for inclusion in The QP.
The following comment about Pat's books was posted by
website at www.freado.com: "I
love reading these novels and stories! They are about real women in a
world that is ever changing! Thank you, I have really enjoyed your books
so far and look forward to more in the future!"
Listen to the
mp3 recording of Pat, her fearless publisher, and
several other Pearlsong Press authors in a Pearlsong
creating fat friendly fiction and fat
Listen to a Feb. 11, 2009 Conversation with Pat Ballard
(blog post with link to 50-min mp3 recording of Pat talking about her
self- and body-acceptance and -love, her writing process,
and why a truly Happy Valentine's Day and satisfying sex life
starts with loving
no matter what it looks like.
Calendar of Events
Now available from Pearlsong Press—Pat's
newest book, the nonfiction Something to Think About: Reflections on
Life, Family, Body Image, & Other Weighty Matters by the Queen of
Rubenesque Romances. It's a
FREE PDF ebook that can be downloaded at
http://www.pearlsong.com/somethingtothinkabout.htm or via the link at
the beginning of this newsletter.
Pat is now co-hosting Radio Free Nashville's
Health At Every Size show, which airs every Monday morning.
The show is streamed live
over the Internet 10-11 a.m. CST Mondays. You can
also subscribe to the podcast of the show (automatically receive the
mp3 recordings of the weekly shows on your computer, iPod or mp3 player)
via iTunes. Click on the "subscribe in a reader" button/link in the upper lefthand column, and select "Add to iTunes" or the podcatcher of your
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